I hope Avengers sometimes go to Strange like “I need your help” and he’s like “What’s wrong? Skrulls? Hydra?” and they’re like “I’m congested and it hurts when I swallow.”
You think they ever approach Vision in a similar manner to complain about how the wi-fi router keeps kicking them off the network?
Well, NOW I do.
Peter Parker calls Steve Rogers at midnight and he shows up at Aunt May’s in full uniform, shield at the ready. “You said something about Nazis? Let’s go.”
And Peter’s standing in the doorway in pajamas and like, pikachu slippers, and he’s like, “The AP history test is tomorrow. I need you to tell me everything you know.”
I’m a bag of anxiety but also dense as fuck which is a great combo in social situations because when I screw up it plays off as sheer confidence
“Eating a sandwich,” I answer happily, to what seems to be a positive reception. I finish my lunch and leave the cafeteria. Halfway to class I realize that junior kid meant “what’s your major at this institute,” not “what brings you to the cafeteria” when he asked what I was doing here. He laughed at my dry humor, thinking my jape funny. Little does he know, I am but a witless fool. I will now stress binge an entire loaf of pretzel bread and sleep for twelve hours
i remember when i thought i was straight and this guy i was dating was trying to pressure me into sex while i had cramps by saying “orgasms relieve cramps babe” and without thinking i replied “but you don’t make me cum” and i have never seen anyone go through the seven stages of grief so quickly
Dads be like. I have trauma. I will never talk about or acknowledge this. One day u will come across a picture of my childhood and realize that I have a entire flesh and blood brother still alive who I have never mentioned or acknowledged. Anyway why dont you tell me anything about ur fucking life.
